on the bathroom floor

So the last week of school is here, last week of the academic year. I feel like writing letters to people, but that would be a step closer to muting myself, which I always knew would come but not now. To be honest I don't really like poetry, but I think words are one of the prettiest things out there, and I've never gotten used to the sound of my voice even until now. It wavers and then sounds overly harsh and then weak when I feel so dry, and some things are so hard to say without having to look somewhere else, or without first roughening and jokening how it sounds to ease the tension or embarrassing awkwardness.

Today we talked and we realised together that what some people have that we didn't was the confidence and conviction in expressing their opinions. Well isn't that what it's about then. My respect only extends to the courage they have, not much more because I know there are people out there who know things we/they don't. I don't know if respect is the right word to use, I don't like tossing it around like that. Anyway, these people are people who seldom talk much. I guess it's our own faults, I'm unsure of what the reason is. Point of this whole chunk is, I want to pay more attention to people who don't speak, and should I ever become an educator which I won't ever be (seriously), these are the people I will care about.

I'm sorry I don't feel like going to school now.