on the bathroom floor

Another screwed up hour, another screwed up dialogue with my parents. It's just incredibly stupid how I can't even talk to the people who raised me up properly, incredibly disappointing how my mom just doesn't listen enough, how she tries to throw Buddha in everywhere like studying his ways are going to solve all the fucking problems in the world. How I wish I could have just. one. bloody. proper. talk where I don't end up crying like a whiny 5 year old. Just once?

Why don't you tell me again how I'll just live and die, how true happiness doesn't exist, why don't you just tell me to give up right now?

I'm growing more and more tired of feeling the constant sting of being thought of as quiet and ultimately forgettable, so why don't you all tell me to get lost? One less person to mark on your bloody attendance sheet.

I'm tired of trying so hard for ages to help someone when another person can just walk by and do what I tried to in a second just because of who they are. Once again, I'm not good enough.

Who's the cheap imitation now? I really don't know anymore. I don't have answers anymore. I can't help anymore. I don't know what I can do now that won't just fade in the dust.

I'm probably gonna regret this whole horrible post, another pathetic attempt at trying to express something more than I can.