on the bathroom floor

Tired. Still blogging anyway. I dunno why, but I am not feeling very excited to learn. At the moment, I am very irritated by IHSS because I really don't see the point. I don't know if I ever will, but for now, I don't. I don't see the point in a lot of things, actually. And how do you go through life if you don't see the point in anything? You might as well be dead.

I don't see the point in caring so much about things. So what. You just care, slave over it, and find out some really logical stuff about it and then it just goes "whatever" in your face and spits out new questions and you do the whole thing over again. I feel like so many things are going "whatever" in my face. Really.

The climograph is laughing at me. It's sec 1 horrorshit again.You know what? I'm sick of constantly questioning everything around me to no answers, no replies, or answers that only make me wish I hadn't. I don't have any questions anymore. Because I don't really care.

I don't care I don't care I don't care. It hurts me to say this but ethics, psychology and all that cool shit is nothing because I don't care anymore. And I can bet the teachers will never understand so why bother asking. They'll just say they're disappointed that I don't even want to know about the world I live in, my world. Yeah so I'm a bad, bad person because I'm not even concerned about the world and how it was made billions of years ago. I'm shallow and self centered. Bite me.

I want to find a point. I want to find a good reason for studying other than to get certs and make money. But no one can tell me and you will never understand how frustrated I am with this. We are perhaps building up to nothing. Are we people just too scared to face the truth? The ultimate worthlessness of everything? We're all cowards inside and you know it.

How can you force yourself not be upset about something like this? Just smile and ignore it as we usually always do.