Monday, October 20, 2008
YOU

THE ANGRY POST. Right now, I can [and I was really going to] make a really angry post full of f*cks and shits and b*tch[es] but i've decided not to. The day was long, the situations frustrating, the bus ride grueling but I really don't want to make myself hurt even more than I already do right now. I shall calm down all my raging emotions and deliver things in a nicer package.
I had no idea we had to stay back to help out today and I was really looking forward to getting some sleep at home. Too bad that I couldn't and for half of the day I was just stuck with a migraine. Of course what's the problem complaining when no one gives a damn? Well, overall, it was good I guess, it was good helping out. I know it is good to help.
And if I have a ache in the head then what am I still doing awake? Ever thought about how little hours there are in a day? I have come to realise that I am very contradicting. I mentioned once that sleep was an escape and sleep is great. But at the same time, I find being awake and conscious something in high demand. The reason I don't want to sleep now is because I'm craving to be awake. I'm sapping my own energy to stay awake. I don't know what for. I'm always so desparate to get home early but I really don't know what for. Why do I forgo sleep to stay awake when I'm feeling so miserable and actually doing nothing much?
It just feels as if time is going by so fast, and by falling asleep I'm letting it go by even faster. I don't trust myself to go to sleep.
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