on the bathroom floor

So, where are we now? Caught in a very weird place. Second time I'm using weird, now third. Feels like there's nothing to do anymore since the worst is over, and yet I feel like something has to be done. Like taking out some papers and doing sums to feel like I'm still "at it". I just have this funny impression that my brain will melt if I don't do anything "smart" doing the holidays. More time=trouble. Seriously.

And as we've said before blogging is rather narcissistic because we're always talking about ourselves. Well, now I'm going to talk about a situation that I'm in. And the thing is, for once in a long time, I really don't know what is the right thing to do. And those books they don't help. They kinda never do. They only help when you're helping others but never yourself.

So what are the traits of a good friend in the first place? A good friend sticks up for you, is there when you need him/her, and basically just wants to help you to be happy. Well, you can't forget that a good friend also has to make you a better person. A good friend will tell you your flaws because he/she cares for you and a good friend will also accept it when you tell him/her.

So when does it get to a point where a good friend wants to be there, and wants to make you a better person at the same time? And the second part is not easy. It is never easy because it involves the truth. [And the truth sucks most of the time]. A great blessing would be to have a friend who accepts the truth gracefully and thankfully so thankfully I have a friend like that. But then it's never so easy because people take things differently.

How do you show someone what he/she has taken for granted? Well, you can shun the person and give him/her the cold shoulder. That would be effective but would it be what a good friend does? Or, a good friend could close an eye and continue being there for said person but feel him/herself being used as tissue paper, used to wipe and then thrown into the bin.

So what's it gonna be? I can ask myself that all day. I'm stuck at crossroads. It's never nice hurting people but it's never nice hurting yourself too, and believe me, I've really had enough of feeling like a door you push and swing through everyday.

Really. What's the answer? After all these paragraphs on what a good friend should be, I still really, really don't know. And have you realised that I started 4 paragraphs with the same word? I just did. Weird.