on the bathroom floor

The most recent theory and history art lesson was really painful but I enjoyed it wholeheartedly. We were shown really sad and maybe quite freaky pictures and paintings. The inner torture of the artists really ooze and leak out of the paintings and I almost feel their pain. In such a horrible state of mind and body, why even bother to keep going? I'm impressed that in such pain and agony they can still pull themselves together to paint a masterpiece. They must be truly dead set on meticulously drawing every stroke to represent how they feel. For me, it'll be 'take a pencil, scribble in frustration, scream, do something stupid and end up unconscious.'

Even some art works that seem impossible to appreciate on first sight [eww, brutal, sick, retarded, disturbed, crazy, nuts, demented, wrong...]seem to be okay after thinking for a while. I mean, you can't evade the truth of life, can you? Someone's got to smack it right in your face to tell you that you can't. Someone's got to slap you hard and tell you that life isn't sweet. And when they do, it's hard to accept. But after a while, I think I can handle it. However, I can't really comment on how ethical the work of art is. Different people will see it in different ways. No one wants their dead body to be used as a prop, but then again, once you're dead, you're dead. Fullstop. You won't even know what your body is anymore. You won't know yourself anymore. And once again it's up to people's beliefs, whether they can accept this work of art [or even acknowledge it as such].

I feel like I'm still slugging through school [I don't even know if there is such a thing], and thank goodness it's Friday again. Friday, what a beautiful day. But not as beautiful as Valentine's Day. I was really touched by the effort of the people of G3 who made cards and gave gifts to others. I'm such a bad person. Didn't do anything at all. Well, I'm not exactly the kind to do stuff like this where it involves the whole class, and I feel bad if I only give things to some people. My only easy present for people is drawing for them. Doesn't cost a thing and you can't get it anywhere else. Saves all the trouble of present-hunting. Saw lots of men and women carrying teddy bears and flowers on the bus too. Wait.

I shall stop before I get all mushy and stuff.