on the bathroom floor

The boy who blocked his own shot. Beautiful song. It was on the eclipse playlist...really makes me think about what happened at the start of New Moon when he left. What he must have felt. Sigh. Life is never like stories. Life gets you from everywhere. Life makes you hate yourself for being so sad.

Living yet dead. How days feel. Stumble through life. No longer real.

Oh woe is me. Oh pathetic me. I'm losing everything. My angel doesn't give a damn about me. I'm always the one standing at one side when you're together. No where to go so you're coming here. I don't know who I am or what I am. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. It's always my fault isn't it? Yeah it is...I know it is.

I am the wallpaper now. I didn't use to be until...

It is always me. The problem is me. Yeah I'm selfish that's what I am. Too sensitive that's what I am. Feeling left out that's what I am. Sorry I'm such a pain. You don't have to say it cuz no doubt I know it. I'll get lost if that's what you want... I'll clear the road for you. I'll get out of the way. Why do I bother to stand there when I know I'm not invited? Why do I bother to care, if I know for the fact that if I were to suddenly disappear you wouldn't give a damn?

I have an attitude problem let's take it as that. I don't know why I'm being like that but I have tried. I never thought this could happen. I never felt this hurt before. Mummurs at a distance, but no idea what they are about. I don't bother to ask. I'm losing everything. Just go away, would you? I really wish I could be nice. Once again it still is my fault. Blame me for being immature.

But it's ok. Let me deal with my own immaturity.

I know who would be left to drown in the water. Woe is ME.


So I leave myself in tears
Huddled in a chair
Trying to figure out problems
That probably arent even there.

Sorry I'm me. Sorry someone's better.